Thursday, September 07, 2006

The Young Israeli Boy!

I have met (or rather seen) more Israelis in the last 29 days than i have in my entire life combined. There are alot of them travelling around central America.
Im going to be honest with myself and with my blog and post exactly how i feel.

I dont like the idea of Israel. I wont let this post become political but i dont like the state if Israel. However i cannot say i hate Israelis. That would be a real flaw in my character, to hate a nation of people.
I conceed that not all Israelis are child killing soldiers, not all Israelis want to see us dead, and not all Israelis agree with the occupation of Arab land.

Having said all this i have not brought myself to get to know any of the many Israelis that i have seen. I dont feel like i want to engage them in anyway. They hear me speak arabic with my friend and i am sure they feel the same. I sense the distance, the unsure looks they give me, and the blatent lack of desire to interact with me. When i see an Israeli i think of his country, when i hear them speak i think of Palestinian children and of Lebonese towns and villages. I hope to God i am not a racist but these are the true feelings i have when confronted with Israelis.

Untill today......

In my hotel is a young Israeli boy. He knows im arabic as he has heard me speak and has asked others where i am from. We havent as yet had a conversation and i doubt that we will. But something in his face is different. He smiles at me at every opportunity, appears shy and reserved whenever i am around. I see his desire to talk to me but his reluctance as though he feels he would offend me. Maybe he senses my feelings... maybe its clear from my face. I like this boy though. In him i dont see the arrogance i see in others. I see him sitting in the corner of the lounge reading his book, alone, in the same shy way that he walks around the hotel, and the same shy way he briefly asked me for directions.

I make sure i smile to him everytime i see him and i offer a nod of aknowledgment. I cant bring myself to embrace him and befriend him or even engage him. But i hope he knows that i bear no hostility towards him, and actually i like him.

He sees my smiles now, and returns them with that same old shyness and uncertainty.

Im aware that perhaps some of what i feel is fundamentally wrong and i accept that as a possible flaw in me. I am not perfect. But what i feel are not ideas or views or arguments. What i feel is something i cant control inside of me. A feeling of dissociation from them. I cant help but not want to be around them.

I guess its the same uncontrollable feeling inside me which brings me to like this shy Israeli boy.

After all...

No Arab is superior over a non-Arab, and no white is superior over black and superiority is by righteousness and God-fearing alone.
sura alHujurat, 49.13

3 Comments:

Blogger maiuna said...

I can understand your feelings, cuz I’ve had them, too.
when ever I got cross some Jewish people, they start staring at me "well they know I’m a Muslim obviously cuz I’m wearing a scarf!", but when I stare back at them, they turn their heads down as if they were a shamed of what their Israeli government is doing in the middle east. I know that not all Jewish people are the same, but I can't help hating them for what they are doing in middle east and in the world by turning all people and governments in the world against Muslims and Islam in general, and make them think that we're the roots of terror and for them to live in peace, they have to clear the world from us!

8:49 pm  
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10:04 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I enjoyed reading this post---not in a way I enjoy a good movie, say---but in the sense that your outright honesty, coupled with your apparent respect for the humanity of the Israelis and yours, is a position that seems rare nowadays. Thank you for sharing this experience with the rest of us.

I hope you will find time to blog some more. Peace.

9:39 pm  

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